An experiment with Stella

I’m sure we have all received an email from royal blood in Nigeria, Ethiopia, or South Africa but this time I’ve decided to reply… I wonder what will happen??? Here is the email with my reply, the email addresses have been left out so no one screws with my experiment.

Dear Friend,

I am Stella UJUNWA CHINWETA daughter of Chief Chris CHINWETA, the king of Ogoni Kingdom. I am 17 Years old and an undergraduate of Mass Communication. My Father was the king of Ogoni Kingdom the highest oil Producing area in Nigeria. He was in charge of Receiving Royalties from the ulti-national oil Companies and government on behalf of the Oil Producing Communities in Nigeria.

After the hanging of The Ogoni Nine (9) including Ken Saro Wiwa for speaking out against the environmental ecological effects, my father suffered Stroke and eventually he died November 15th 2003. But before his death, he called me secretly and told me in confidence that he has the sum of Twenty Three Million Five Hundred and Sixty Thousand Dollars (USD11, 560,000.00) deposited, with one of the leading banks in Africa.

He advised me not to tell anybody except my mother who is the last wife of the (8) eight wives that he married. My mother did not bear any male child for him. This implies that in all my fathers’ properties, companies’ e.t.c, we have no share in them because my mother has No Male child according to African Tradition. My father therefore secretly gave me all the relevant Documents regarding the said money deposited in the bank, and told me that I should Use this money with my mother and my younger sisters because he knows that traditionally, if he dies we cannot get anything, as inheritance. Though my beloved mother died last year, she suffered high blood pressure due to the humiliation we suffered from the entire family members.
Please bear with me that I don’t hear clearly, but we can still arrange for the transfer. He importantly advised me that I should seek foreign assistance and that I should not invest this money here in Nigeria

Because of his other wives and male children who happen to be my elders.Hence, I am soliciting for your immediate assistance to enable us MOVE this money from the bank here to you if you can promise to be Reliable and Trustworthy. Then once the money gets to your hands, you will first procure a Bungalow for us wherein we Will live with my two younger sisters and Further advise me where and how I will invest the balance money overseas, possibly on products of your Company and other profitable ventures.

I believe that by the special grace of God, you will help us move this money out of Nigeria to any country of your Choice where we can invest this money judiciously with you. You are entitled to a reasonable part of this Money based on our agreement, and God will bless you as you help us.
Please reply through my e-mail looking forward to hear from you as soon as possible. I will tell you more about this when you reply.

Please if you are not interested let me know, keep this to your self and delete please for our security.

Best regard,
STELLA UJUNWA CHINWETA

And my reply.

Dear Stella,

I’m am very sorry for you loss and I pray that your mourning will soon pass…

I have studied the culture of several Nigerian tribes and I understand you dilemma with inheritance issues. I would more than happy to help as long as there are not any laws broken, and of course I will need compensation for acting as an agent to deal with such large sums of money. I will also need to know where you would like this Bungalow. I recommend Nassau, Bahamas.. the weather is perfect!

Anyway please just reply to this email with more information so I can make a decision as to help you.

With Sympathy for you Loss,

Rusty J. Shackelford

Now we wait 😀

Update: I thought I would include one of my old favorite videos by Ze Frank this was made back in 2004. View it below or on his page.